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The good news
Around 1953 Mom tells the family she's pregnant. My brother bounces around the living room with a pillow on his head wailing "it will change our whole lives!" This story is recounted each year around my birthday. -
Happy mornings
Around 1957 Dad and I sing My Darlin' Clementine every morning on the way to school. -
My naughty brother
Around 1962 my brother feels like scaring the hell out of me and chases me around the house with a butcher knife. I hide behind Dad's suits. It smells like Old Spice. -
Grandma's motivation
Around 1963 Grandma gives me ten bucks for learning the times table. -
Mom's new look
Around 1964 Mom colors her hair-starts wearing eye shadow and mascara. She's standing over a steaming sink in pale green mohair "Edelweiss." She looks absolutely radiant. -
Woolworth's fun
Around 1968 Patty Bryant and I run out on the check at Woolworth's. -
Unnatural desire
Around 1969 I tell my parents over dinner that I'd live with a man before I'd marry him. Dad says It's unnatural. I tell him to get his own desert. -
Breaking news
Around 1972 my sister tells me and my parents she's gay. Dad says it's unnatural and they start arguing. I keep quite. Mom goes into the kitchen to make sundaes. -
Disappointing experience
around 1978 I leave home to move in with jack. Dad and I are standing in the driveway. They don't want me to go. He's Jewish. Mom packs ham sandwiches and slips me two twenties. I move back in three months. -
How I Knew Harold
Around 1979 my friend Sandy plays tap at a funeral gig, so I go along. I walk up to the casket in my boots and fur jacket. I'm checking out the deceased when a woman grabs my elbow. She wants to know how I knew Harold. -
Brief encounter
Around 1981 we run into your old girlfriend on an elevator. She's wearing black leather pants and a tank top. She asks how I like New York. We are all sweating bullets. I want to say it sucks, but the doors open and she's gone. We miss our floor.
